Savage World of Solomon Kane: The Church Job

Honestly, I don’t know if there’s anything to be gained by writing about this game. It was lots of fun, but in retrospect, it seems even more like one of those “you just had to be there” experiences than most role-playing games. With players and GM alike fueled by robust Russian fare, vodka and other fine boozes, we went for a howlingly ridiculous romp in early 17th century peasant Russia. Our motley assortment of adventurers — I played the aged last of the Aztec priests — while maundering around the Eurasian landmass, found themselves in a village beset by uncharacteristically ferocious animals. It transpired they were driven to retrieve the scattered remains of a dark monk that once terrorized the village long ago, when Christianity first came to the region.

Highlights included:

  • Two completely wilderness unsavvy travelers, one of whom was an alcoholic samurai, not only getting lost in the woods, but finding Baba Yaga‘s hut, traipsing past the skull-topped fence posts and banging on the wall — Baba Yaga’s hut, of course, always faces away from you until commanded appropriately.
  • My Aztec priest getting into an increasingly goofy, vodka-fueled debate with a laconic, gravel-voiced black bear: “Now suppose, and I say ‘suppose’ because I know animals understand if-then clauses, someone took the skull out of the church. What would happen then?”
  • One player breaking out his time-honored ” . . . and then we’re on fire!” plan; no matter what the initial steps of the plan are, it invariably, albeit accidentally, ends with one or more of the player characters on fire.

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